Note to parents: if you are in public and you can't see your child he/she could be being abducted at that very moment.
In the past 24 hours i've seen some concerning parenting practices.
Example 1: yesterday while waiting at customer service for like 30min (yes it sucked) there was a mom and her two daughters approximately ages 6 and 4. the girls were getting antsy so the mom gave the 6 year old a $10 bill and told her to go with her sister to the McDonald's in walmart and get ice cream and she would meet them there. Ok I'm not a mom or anything but isn't that irresponsible? That's just asking for a pedophile to come and steal your children while you're at the service desk.
Example 2: Today on campus there was a little toddler wandering around by herself. It took me and my coworker a few seconds to figure out who she belonged to. They hadn't noticed that she was missing. We kept walking but glanced back several times to see if they had realized yet. It took a good 30 seconds to a minute from the time we noticed the girl to the time the parent started to realize. Even then the mom didn't get up to look she sent her other young children off to look. I don't care if you're on BYU campus and you think that no one would do something like that. You can never be sure. Keep track of your kids.
I would never actually have the guts to do this but often I'm tempted to go and walk children back to their parents and then inform the parents that i could have just stolen their child. That would probably be really mean though.
Oh and I'm just wondering opinions. My co-worker said that maybe as you have more children or as your children get older you worry less. You moms out there, is this a justifiable reason to let your kids go off on their own? I just don't get it. I hope I'm never that irresponsible. Sorry if I'm being harsh.
14 comments:
I panic about Katie getting stolen or dragged off when she runs away, but you'd be surprised how many people will just WATCH as she runs from me. I am very visibly pregnant, I am HUGE, and people just watch her run away while I call after her. HECK they get out of her way so she can go faster. I realize that they may not want to step on toes or whatever, but I don't think anyone would mind at least the idea of stopping a kid. Katie would stop if someone said Hi to her or "where you going kiddo?" because she's intimidated by people. It's rough keeping track of your kids when they start to get a mind of their own. I've pretty much resolved to never leave the house with our soon to be two because Katie JUST won't mind in public and no one in public will help me. Parents should be mindful of their kids, but at the same time, people should be generous in what they think of parents. It's hard, there's hardly EVER a break, and if you are stressing out every time your child runs away from you in public, you'll probably lose all your hair. -Melissa
Very good point! People in public should help out when they can. I'm sure it's much harder than I can imagine at this point.
The problem with helping in public is that the parents are sometimes very offended and suddenly the helper becomes the boogie man.
I remember going to Mervyn's (years ago) and seeing a baby in a baby carrier (the kind that double as car seats when babies are still pretty small.) There was no mother around, and the baby was frantically crying. I was standing there cooing and trying to comfort the baby (I had three of my own at that point) and after a few MINUTES the mother showed up and she was all huffy because I was standing so close to her baby.
And then some other woman said something like she would have been uncomfortable too if it had been her baby with some strange woman talking to it.
I left feeling like I had done something wrong, and ever since then I have been very leery of interacting with someone else's child when their parent isn't nearby or needs help. That was not the first or last time I've been burned. People now-a-days freak out at very little, and yet their practices put their children at risk.
Would I have knowingly put my kids in the situations you described? No. Have my children gotten away from me when they were young? Yes. It was rare, but it happened. But I was one of the "mean" moms who made her children stay by her even if they were getting "antsy." I'm sorry that a 4 and 6 year old were bored in line. Too bad, you can either sit on the floor by my feet or you can stand by me. There is no way I would hand over a ten dollar bill and let them find their way by themselves to get a treat.
:::off the soapbox now:::
Susie
First it's "My Secretary" that makes you angry, now it'd "Mom's I don't like", and assuming you would be leaps and bounds better. When did you become so judgemental Guildy?
I'll jump on the soapbox with if you don't establish boundaries and standards for your children's behavior while they are young, you (and they) will pay the price when they become teenagers. At that point you won't be able to establish standards, because they won't be listening to you.
I would not call Guildy judgmental, Valkyrie. I would say that she is using her blog as 1) a way to vent when she is irritated or annoyed and 2) a place to voice the observations she is making. I'm pretty sure that's what a blog is for, and we are privileged to be able to look into her life through her eyes. Those who find it distressing to read for whatever reason are encouraged to read elsewhere.
Naturally as a newlywed Guildy is observing things that she may not have noticed before because she is gearing up for a whole new chapter in her life. And with our feedback we are helping her see different sides to the same story just as we can see her side from what she describes.
For what it's worth, I have seen behaviors that have bothered me many times, from other parents, from co-workers, from other drivers, from neighbors. If I happen to be with someone I know and trust, I will voice my opinion. When I am with someone who may be offended by my observations, I keep them to myself. (Most of the time.) Why? Because people who know me and love me will see my venting for what it is without name calling. They may even agree with me, though that's not necessary.
Mom
We've all run into this situation in one way or another. Kids in R-rated movies, children running around Wal-mart @ 1am, and the best yet - the mom driving drunk with her kids in the car:
http://www.sltrib.com/ci_12530749
Witnessing other ppl's parenting skills are sometimes shocking. Especially with the items mentioned above and the incidents that Guildy posted.
Myself - being a parent is tough and if you think you can let down your guard then your kids will start to slip away.
Keep posting your stories Guildy! If we can't use our blogs to bitch then that's pretty much useless.
Amen, Sukie.
I couldn't help pointing out the irony of one person calling another judgmental.
Don't read too much into that :) I just thought it was funny
Valkyrie could have been a little more tactful, but she was trying to raise a valid point.
Everyone knows that abductions can and do happen, and that you are responsible for watching your kids, but some perspective is called for here. In the several years that I have been a cop, I have *never once* worked a child-abduction-by-stranger. Not only that, but I have never even been on duty while someone else was working one. You all know that I work in a pretty nasty area, too, so it's not that I've got blinders on. It's just that it's that rare. Children are generally abused or abducted by people that they know, and pedophiles like to get to know their victims before they strike.
At any rate, my point was that if you think your children are responsible enough to walk 30 feet away from you to buy an ice cream, that's probably not negligent. I remember waiting in the car while Mom ran into the grocery store for a minute when I was a kid, and I survived the ordeal unscathed. If your child wanders out of your line of sight on a college campus, and less than a minute later you've sent another child to go get them, that's probably not negligent in my book either. The courtyard at BYU isn't rife with natural hazards the way that a busy street is.
Anyway, like I said, Valkyrie could have been a little more tactful in her comment. I don't think she was trying to go for a name-calling angle, though. Last I heard, "judgmental" isn't really a dirty word or a personal attack. Vent away, Sarah, but you really might be judging some of these people a little too harshly.
Yeah, I'd have to say that it probably depends a lot on the kid and how responsible they are. I think it's really one of those things that once you're in the situation, your opinions change. Just like saying you'll never spank your kids or you'll never fight with your husband or your dishes will always be clean... Ideally, yes, that's how it'll be, but it doesn't always work out. :)
Thankfully I never said my dishes would always be clean. :) Or that there would always be clean underwear, but I'm pretty sure that I'm nearly perfect in that regard. I've only had to blow dry my undies once or twice.
Love,
Mom
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