Committed

This past Sunday I was sitting in church looking around at the other babies in the room. A baby a few weeks younger than Isaac was playing happily and quietly. Another a week older than Isaac was doing the same. Another baby a couple months younger than Isaac was sleeping and startled herself then settled effortlessly back to sleep in her mom's arms. I couldn't help but be a bit jealous for a few moments. I thought "why is my baby the only one who can't be quiet in church, take an effortless nap or play peacefully so I can listen to a lesson rather than walking the halls?" After wallowing for a moment in the "whys" and "what ifs" I looked over at my sweet, wonderful little boy and wished for no one but him.

Later that night, as David and I were laying in bed talking, I told him about that moment in church. He made the statement that Isaac commits 110% to whatever he does. When he hates something he really hates it. That means that when he is cranky he's super cranky, when he's playing he's into it completely and doesn't care that he's being loud. On the other hand, when he loves something he really loves it. When he is happy he is over the moon. He squeals and giggles and smiles so big it takes over his whole face. He wants everyone around him to know and feel what he feels. And that infectiousness makes him who he is. He is not mediocre about anything.

Although Isaac is not an easy baby I wouldn't trade him for any other baby no matter how easy they may be. Isaac wouldn't be who he is if he wasn't as animated and committed to life as he is. He wouldn't be the little boy I've grown to love more than anything. I have the sweetest little boy and I wouldn't change a thing about him for anything.

I was so glad that David told me that. It hasn't necessarily made Isaac an easier baby but it has changed how I view his actions and reactions. It has made it just a little easier to deal with his intense emotions. It has helped me understand and know him more and the more I know him the more I love him. I have an amazing boy! Although his temperament is difficult for me now I think it will help him have the persistence to do what he decides to do and be what he wants to be no matter what it is. Hopefully he will make good decisions and choose good goals to attain and become an even more amazing person than he already is.

Yesterday I read this talk from General Conference and it just helped me recommit to be a fantastic mom. Favorite quote from it is the first line that says, "As we look into the eyes of a child, we see a fellow son or daughter of God who stood with us in the premortal life." How true and how profound! I'm raising not only my child but a child of God. He's trusted me to raise this little boy, to know him and help him be the best he can be. I'll do my best.